Friday, October 30

(Not so) Quick Update ;)

I just want to let all of you beautifuls know that my appointment went very well!!

I'm so glad I did this!! Couldn't have done it withough all of you and my best friend!!

Thank you so much for supporting me in this and even pushing me to do so!! And of course thanks for sharing your stories!! This made it so much easier, to know I have a bunch of people believing in me - that I'm doing the right thing!!

I totally lucked out with this T! She is truly amazing - we clicked instantly! It was so relieving to talk to someone without being lookt at like a lunatic or like they think "just stop! just like yourself"!! To talk to her and see in her eyes that she knows and understands what I was telling her!! We made a new appointment and I'll start single therapy with her and she strongly suggested a Nutritionis for me, but we will discuss this next time! Until then I have a little questionnaire to fill out and start with a food diary!

I'm not too happy with the diary part, because right know I definitely don't eat enough (sorry for mentioning this and sorry if this is triggering!!) and I'm not sure if I just give it to her like it is, or if I'll tweak it a little! But I don't want to start our "thing" with lies!! The first time I don't have to lie about food, how it makes me feel, my weight and how gaining all this weight back is super upsetting for me!! So we'll see! I still have time to think about it - no appointment until (a day after my birthday!!) the 9th.

Alright! Enough doctor-talk! ;) Onto the good stuff!!

Even though I didn't eat to much the last few days, I definitely had some deliciouse things!!

Tuesday was veeeeeeeeeery bad!!! Had quite the binge!! And I finally swore that this was THE LAST EVER!!!

I just can't do this anymore!!!

But to start at the beginning - day went well, as always. Did not go to Yoga because my mom had other obligations and I planned to go and donate blood for a few weeks and since Tuesday is the only day I can go I thought I took the plunge. Walked there in the beautiful fall weather!!

Everything went fine even though my blood pressure was a little low (99/64) as always!

breakfast: half a cup muesli, an apple, a kiwi and lots of cinnamon and flax

lunch: lots of veggies (orange bell pepper, zucchini, cauliflower, cherry tomatoes)
with 1/3 cup cottage cheese and paprika

dessert a little later: granola bar with orange dark chocolate

pre-donation: a sliced apple, babybel and curry cashews

the beautiful cemetery I walked through!
a little halloween feeling ;)

it was such a nice fall afternoon - the pic doesn't do it justice!

dinner (I was given after donating): ww kind-of-bagle with a little cream cheese and pate, orange juice on the side
didn't eat the toblerone - took it with me though!

proof ;)

thank god everything goes smoothly every time!! I like the thought of helping someone with my blood!! :D

and like I said! everything went downhill - once again but this time was THE LAST TIME!!!
this is about 1/5 of what I ate (not everything sweet and nut just this times five!!)

Wednesday was alright!! Day was kind of slow and I was glad once the clock turned 4.30pm so I could go to the post office to finally receive my English Certificate!! YAY! And then head to my ballet and jazz practice!! Went really well! My teacher checked my point shoes and told me that I could practice in them for a while, but they are a little to soft for me (they are second-hand) and I'll have to buy my own soon - which is totally ok for me!! Can't wait until Monday to start practice at class with them!!

breakfast; 1/3 cup muesli, half an apple, half a kiwi and 1/3 of a small banana
with lots of cinnamon and flax - some magnesium/calcium tablets

small portion of my quinoa and veggies
about 1/3 cup quinoa tops, orange pepper, zucchini, cauliflower and cherry tomatoes
1/3 cup cottage cheese, paprika and topped with a little seed mix

pre-workout/dinner: half of this peanut&oat TREK bar - totally delicious!!!!
and a babybel - had one cup skim milk after dance (unpictured)

Thursday was interesting to say the least! More on the go than in the office. :)

My T-app. at 8am - back in the office at 9.30am, worked straight though until 3pm when I had to leave to drive 1,5h to pick up my nieces (they had some kind of pre-evaluation for their jobs), drive back and drop them at the barne they work! Not to much traffic thank god but still very busy and tiring! Finally home at 9pm!

breakfast (part1) at 8am before my appointment

awesome stats!! It was interesting!
Since I'm still not used to the ginger taste in something sweet, the first bite was kind of not so good,
but the longer I chewed and ate - the better it got! :D

breakfast (part2) at 11am was the same as on wednesday
here pre mixing

here post-mixing so you can see what I had in there! ;)

late lunch at 2.30pm was a delicious quick soup (veggy and potato/leek)
on top of my work ;)

I drove into the sunset!! beautiful colors!!
on the road I hade some (unpictured) crackers and the other half of the TRAK peanut&oat bar

So yeah!! This is it!! My Not-So-Quick update!! Hadn't planned to write so much (like usual) so I just changed my title a little!! ;)

Hope all of you had a (better) good time and why don't you tell me about your favorite day so far this week?! When and why?! ;)

Have a wonderful day everyone!!



  1. I can't tell you how many times i swore to myself that it would be the last time!!! It seemed to always happen again. I find that you are fighting a loosing battle if your body is still malnourished. There is no controlling a hungry brain/body by rational thoughts. it just doesn't work! (i don't know you well enough to know your health status). Now that i am at a healthy weight i find it much easier to make good food decisions.
    also, i found that it is all about substituting behaviors. you won't want to set out and binge if there is something you would rather be doing. However, you may "overeat" from time to time while learning how much your body really wants/needs (this is a tough process). and there will be things and times that "trigger" you. The true test of strength is recognizing those triggers without reacting to them.
    Sorry for this long post.
    no one is perfect. and there is no prefect way to eat. So looking at how you interpret and view your own behaviors will change the way you react to a "wrong doing"
    P.S. i just found your blog and am excited to read more.

  2. Hey hun! Awesome to hear your appointment went great! And that you and T clicked! Don't feel too bad about the binge - it happens.

    Ballet & jazz sounds like so much fun!! Those Trek bars look aMAZZZZing, wish we had em over here :p

    Take caree!