first i'd like to mention that it was an overall okay day. but...
i had two little break-downs. i don't even know exactly why, i was just so overwhelmed by all those feelings, that are bundling up inside me.
the first one was in the office and i just went strait to the toilet and shredded some tears. no big deal, in fact, i like to cry once in a while and i hadn't done that in quite some time.
see, i don't even remember when exactly it was or why... but i remember the feelings: sad, failing, letting everyone down, stupid... pathetic!
the other one was more a feeling-very-down-moment than a break-down, but since i hadn't had one of either of these at day-time in a long time, it felt really disturbing.
everything else was really good! it was a nice day. i spent some laughing moments with my boss on the way to a construction site and really enjoyed to talk and joking around with him. we get along so well and i know it's not a common thing, so i'm definitely don't take it for grounded.
at the moment i'm trying to spend as much time as possible at work or just outside of my flat, because this way i don't have to be bothered with all the food at home and the feelings i usually only got when i'm alone and at home. so i'm enjoying this time, loving to work so much.
on the the eating's.
breakfast: yogurt with mashed banana, almond butter, flax and a little muesli on top
lunch: w/w pasta with cauliflower, romanesco broccoli and plum tomatoes
p.m. snack: chopped up pear sprinkled with cinnamon topped with muesli and nuts/seeds along with 4 w/w darvida cracker and one glass coke zero (i definitely drink too much of this!!!)
dinner: a repeat from yesterday's dinner (plum tomatoes, cucumber, peas, kidnes beans) topped with tofu and sunflower seeds
late snack (after my english-lesson): cream cheese with chivre between two crackers from a vending-mashine
like i said, other than this two incidences my day was good. i walked about 50min throughout the day and enjoyed a great ballet-class even if it was only a 30min barre a terre-class. oh and we practiced the pirouette a little, which we usually don't do on wednesday. it went quite well. *yay* i'm getting better and better at it.
next week i have a lot of time practicing all my new ballet moves because i'm on holiday with my mom and a few others. we are going to our house in france and i won't be able to update or even check all your blogs because i don't have any access to the net there. but i think that will be a good chance to try and not obsess over food and my body all the time.
english-class was funny once again! we have such a great teacher, who tries to make our lessons as light, funny and humor filled as possible and we are still learning so much (i'm taking english lessons to be able to pass my CAE-exam in june)!
i really need to study a lot next week and since a friend of my moms is coming along, who is english i'll try my best and talk english with him as much as possible! i'm really looking forward to this!! and we have a room there with a lot of space so i can practice my pirouettes and piques and all the jumps without trashing everything around me! *yay again*
i try to take pictures but i'm not sure how my mom or all the others will react so i will see.
now for another breathtaking start into the day (on my way to the train station):
and look at these super cute flower (on my way to work)!!
have a nice day everyone!!!
and thanks again for all the comments!! i really do appreciate every word you all are writing!! just to know anyone is even reading this makes me feel a little better!