Dance Week

Hello to you all!!

I know, I know, I'm a really bad blogger lately!! I don't even know why I lack the enthusiasm to post anything! It's not that my life is so boring, or that I'm so happy I forget to write.

I think it's just the fact that writing in english is exhausting some times!! Although I think most of the time in english (no wonder with all the english reading I do throughout the day (all your lovely blogs!!) and watching all the series in english (just wached the hole 5 seasons of Grey's again!)) But nonetheless I always have the impression that I'm not good enough!!! DAMN those thoughts!!!

Whatever.... On to a much happier topic!!

Last week was a blast!!! I participated for the first time in a hole-week workshop (1.5h each day)! With a teacher I did not know (saw here a few times before though), and a dance-style I never danced before!! AND it was flat out AMAZING!!!! I am so IN LOVE with modern-jazz and Anja (the teacher)!!! I can't even describe it!! It was just so... so... freeing... so... 'just-don't-think-anything'.. and I enjoyed every minute and am really sad that it's over. :(

Feeling soooooo good about my body (even though I still have a long way ahead of me) about ME and just about everything right now and I'm totally enjoying this feeling!!

Had a few bad moments of course but the good ones overweighted.

S0rry... No pics... Did not photograf one thing all week... Had no intentions to do it, but my eats where amazing!! Still using dailyplate to check on my calories (neede that one badly last week to have enough energy/carbs) but I'm okay with it. And did NOT BINGE in over a week!!! YAY!! I'm really proud of myself!! Even if this sounds cheesy!!

So... I'm gonna stop here before something negative comes to my mind ;)

Let's see if I can find a pic on my computer, so this isn't text only.... *searching*

YAY found one... I don't think I ever showed you a photo of the horse I had?!

Here he is (we are):

This is the first and only competition I ever did! And that was only because HE LOVED it!! :)

PS: Phew... My safari just endet itself! Thank god blogger saves the posts every few seconds!! I think I would have cried if not!! What a baby I am!!

Short Update

Hey everyone!

I'm a bad blogger at the moment!! And I'm really sorry about it!

But I'm not doing so great and I don't want to drag you all down, as I see that a lot are doing not sooooo awesome at the time. So why contribute to that...

It's nothing major FYI. I'm just really annoyed at myself for not loosing any weight and try at the same time to just stop obsessing over food and weight. But that's just not an easy task and of course is draining me of all my energy.

I try to not let this interact with my life too much, not letting this show to others because I don't want others to know how much i struggle.

But be social and not revealing my true feelings is just hard!!

Thank god I found some really comfy and cute clothes last week in which I feel pretty ok. But knowing I do not loos this damn weight as easily as I'd like is always making my appearance in a mirror totaly wrong! Damn those feelings!!

But I am sure I'm on the right track and will continue on it! Sadly I'm back at calorie counting but what's different to the last times is that I just track the foods I eat AFTER I did and do not plan AHEAD with it. Just so I see what I do wrong (calorie/eating-wise) and where I can improve. And I don't do it on weekends (or at least try not to ;) ).

So now you know what's going on with me and so you don't just have to read my boring words, I will upload a few nice pics this evening from home, because I made some Almond- and Peanut Butter this weekend. YUMMIE!

Oh and to end this on a happier note. I spent some great hours with friends and family over the past few weeks and I enjoy being more social and enjoy spending time with others.

So... Have a nice day/night/whathever.

Love you all and thanks for all the nice words!! This really keeps me going!

n.

Update:

Here are the fotos I promised:

First the AlmondButter I made on Saturday:

Yummie! :)

I did not do those this weekend, but I found them on my camera, aren't they cute?! ;)

And last but definitely not least: My own zucchini from my "balcony-garden"! :D