★ learning to love (myself and every moment) ★

Thx Everyone!!

2011-02-23T06:55:00.000-08:00

Thank you for coming here!! :)

But I have to admit that I no longer blog...!

Although I always loved blogging and I always will,

I'm just not that confident to continue!!

Feeling awkward about the language, thinking I don't have anything interesting

to blog about... And just being insecure about a lot of things in general was

enough for me to just stop!

I love to read ALL about ALL of you and will probably never stop! :D

And I try to be better in commenting! Because I want you to know how much I care!!

I'll keep this journal up and running, might it just be for me to look back..

How far I've come, how much mistakes I made and even just to reflect!

Thank you all for participating in my journey!!

I still have a long way to go!

But knowing that I'm not alone is the most important thing for me!

I truly appreciate each comment you all left and every word you read!

Keep up the good work! I feel so inspired by all of you!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!

Lots of love and everything you might need...!

Nicole

SoSP 2 - Road Trip

2010-06-22T01:41:00.001-07:00

Well hello there everyone!!!

So glad you enjoyed my last post!

I really try to post at least once a week!

I enjoy it so much! But there is always some kind of barrier inside of me!

The more I'll post, the more certain I'll become (once again) with my writing!

And you all help me so much with all your lovely comments!

As always THANK YOU!!

Here we go... Today I'd like to tell you a story... Kidding!

A few weeks ago I got on a little road trip to visit my soon-to-be tattoo artist!

Sadly she works 250 miles from here! But no reason for me to not choose her!

I believe she is perfect for the vision I have for my newest tattoo!

(Oh right there is a new idea for an upcomming post...)

Anyone interested in a post about my tattoos?!

I digress..

What I really want to tell you is what I brought with me!

Of course I prepared a few things so I could eat on the way to save time!

Little did I know that I would have plenty of time to eat because of poor traffic!

I got stuck on the highway for TWO hours!!! :(

So the day before I prepared a famous Breakfast-Cookie for the first time!

the evening before with vega chocolate protein powder - thus the ugly color!

the next morning - all prettied up! :D

with mango and coconut flakes - yum!

Great on-the-go breakfast!

Further I pre-cut lots of veggies and fruit for snacking (and lunch/dinner whatever was needed):

cherry tomatoes, cauliflower, carrots, zucchini, kohlrabi and mango

of course not to forget - lots of ketchup with mustard for dipping

everything (plus two pears) all packed up and ready to go

It was the first beautiful day in a long time! I surely enjoyed it but the two hours of traffic could have been spent better!

happy to be on the way - with beautiful weather (and before the bad traffic!)

I arrived save and sound at my destination, only eating about half of my snacks!

As I stayed there in a hotel for one night - and found some awesome sushi for dinner - I saved the rest for the drive home!

Everything was great for snacking / eating while driving!!

The zucchini was the only thing that was awful the next day!

Totally bitter and blech! Had to toss it, but there wasn't a lot left!

I will definitely make this again!

So... On the side again:

Work: Still lots to do, still enjoying it!

Dance: Feeling pretty good and secure in my dancing for the Performances on Saturday and Sunday! Hope everything will go fine!

Body: Everything is still aching!!! Not a big deal during the day BUT I can't sleep... And that's really annoying!! No more than an hour before I wake up with pain in my shoulders!! So that's really agonizing! Hope with all the anti-inflammation meds I got this will vanish soon!!

Mood: Generally still good... Really tired thus a little snippy! But again... Hopefully this will change soon! And I'm really excited for this upcoming Performance so this keeps me sane! :D

Thanks for reading! ;)

And have a good day everyone!!

It's lunch-time here so I have to go prepare my lunch!

Bye....

Edit to add: Sorry!! I have no idea why this looks so wacky! Couldn't fix it!! :((

Starting a 'Series of Short Posts' (SoSP)

2010-06-16T02:13:00.000-07:00

Hey there everyone!

I decided to give my motiavtion to post a little boost and start 'small' again! ;)

This means I hopefully will post more often but just small posts, inspired by a certain topic!

To start I'm going with GREEN MONSTERS!!

Or better PURPLE and GREEN Monsters!

1/2 a banana, frozen cherries, milk (and a side of favorite series)

1/2 a frozen banana, lots of spinach, milk (and a side of hot bath)

1/2 a frozen banana, lots of spinach, milk + peanut butter (and a side of growing basil & chives)

1/2 a frozen banana, lots of spinach, milk + peanut butter (with a side of mango and strawberries)

As you can see, I finally jumped on the GM-wagon!!
It quickly became a staple post-dance fuel! And I'm loving it!

On other topics:

Work: Finally tons of work again!! After a long period of doing not so much at work, I really enjoy having tons to do!! My days are filled with fun things to do and I missed this so much!!

Dance: Generally doing fine, but...

Body: My whole body is aching!!! I clearly am on my last leg! :S But our Performance is nearing quickly and I can't just stop! But have to tone it down a little! I know that after this there will be lots and lots of R&R!! Can't wait!

Mood: Generally good... But all this constant muscel ache is slowly but surely getting on my nerves!

So this is it, for today!!
Come back soon for a new part of SoSP! :D
Hope you'll enjoy my short but hopefully cute posts!

Oh and THANK YOU ALL so much for the kind words on my last post!!

Have a good one...! ;)

Nic

Missed.....

2010-05-18T13:31:00.000-07:00

You guys....

I missed my own Blog Anniversary!!!!

EDIT to add: It was on april the 14th!

Can't believe it!!!

Can't believe I've been blogging for a year!!

OK not quite that often and with more than one break,

but a year nonetheless!!

More than a year ago I discovered the beautiful thing that is called blogging!

Especially ALL YOUR GREAT BLOGS!!!

And I'm so glad!!

You all have no idea how much you made my life!!!

I would never be at the place I am right know!!

Not without all of you!!

So appreciative to know you all!!

I've made quite a few really awesome friends!!!

THANK YOU!!!

And I promise that the next time I blog,

there will be pictures!!!

Promise!!!

But right now I'm just laying here in my bed,

not able to sleep yet....

Reminiscing of all that I

did, read, saw, discovered, learned, lost

but most importantly gained!!

All of you guys, lots of knowledge and....

a little bit of the self worth I lost a long time ago!

Thank you for all the opportunities to learn, love and litsten!!

Love you all!!! And I definitely learned to love more of myself this past year!!

Thank you!!! Can't say that enough!!

Back --- Finally

2010-05-05T03:18:00.000-07:00

Whewww... That was an unexpected long break!!!

I'm so sorry for that!!

It wasn't planed but - to be quite honest - it was relieving and I totally needed it!!

Nonetheless I'm so glad to be back!!

Hope you are too?! ;)

Well how are you?! How have you been?!

Where do I start?!

Actually I'd like to mention Rebecca here first! Because she is the reason I do this post!

Or at least she was the last push I needed to finally find the courage to write again!

I need to say here that I am really intimidated by all your fabulous writing!!

I wish I would be able to articulate myself like you do!

But I know that it isn't important how many words I use or if they are fancy or not! The important thing is that I really enjoy interacting with you all and I really care for all of you. At the same time this is the reason why it takes so long for me to do a post! I overthink and overanalyse everything, every word, every sentence!!

I just NEED to STOP this!! And I think I'm on the right way!

Alright... Where have I been?! What was I doing?! You might ask yourself.

The answer is: Nothing!

Ok that's not quite the truth, of course I've been doing lots and have been here and there! But it really doesn't feel like i did! It's like I didn't LIVE in the first few month of this year and just existed!

And I'm just about to finally wake up and get going again! I'm eager to move on!! And ready for it!

It was an exhausting time even though I didn't do much (aside from my dancing and eating way to much!!) and mentally draining! I was in a bad place!! Constantly doubting myself and 'feeling fat'! I know... FAT isn't a feeling but I was so consumed by my body (how it felt, looked and how my clothes fit)!!

I of course restricted (or better tried to) and therefore binged not long after!!

What a vicious cycle I know way too well.

But I got out!! I pulled through!!

I'm steadily loosing again (and for those of you who don't know, I'm NOT and nowhere near underweight so that's a good thing!!) and am happy with my life at the moment!!

I'm happy with my dancing, (I finally got rid of the pain in my calf!! It seems to be healed aside from some soreness now and then) I'm making progress!

Finally being able to do pointe again!!! Looking forward to the play we are having in June - of course I'm nervous and afraid of failure but right now the excitement and eagerness to become better overtake the negative feelings!!

Jazz is making a lot more sense to me and I start to really enjoy movements I really loathed for a long time!!

What else?! Oh right... On the 'food-front' I did a lot of experimenting!

Of course AFTER I pulled myself out of the rut I was in the first few month of 2010!

Lot's of veggie-lunches, salads and almond butter-yogurts there!

I finally dried a Green Monster!! WOW!! Why did I wait so long?! (Maybe because we don't have as much fresh spinach here in Switzerland in winter?! And now there is lots of spinache everywhere!! Even organic one!! YAY!!)

I had one every day the first week I tried it!!! And now it's my to-go recovery meal for dance nights (Monday, Wednesday and Thursday I have ballet and/or jazz) and I AM IN LOVE!!! So much variation!

Furthermore I am acually experimenting with new meals!!

It really helped that the temperatures dropped again (even though I really enjoyed the nice weather and low 70s) and it's rainy and cold here! That way I fancy warm meals! And I discover my passion for comming up with new creations! So glad!! What a joy to just try!!

Oh and I finally (lots of finally's in this post!! Sorry!) made homemade Larabars - NicBars! ;D

Soooo good!!

The first time I did them I overwhelmed myself because I couldn't settle for just two or three flavors

- I had to do FIFE (cashew cookie, pistachio, coconut, lime, tropical)!!!

Now I'm down to my TREE favorites (tropical, coconut and coconut&cacao),

which I'm doing over and over again! Such a great pre-workout snack!!

And here we are!!!

Lots of words (and no pics, sorry!!) later, I'm still living! JK ;)

I am so glad I took the step and did this post!! I actually planned on doing just a draft and then come back later to add stuff but I just couldn't stop writing!! And even though I don't have any pictures here (my camera is at home and I didn't to lots of photografing the last few month!) I am going to push that PUBLISH button right know!!

I'll be back!! With pictures of the NicBars and GreenMonsters!! Promise!!

I hope I still have some readers!!

And my apologizes again for being AWOL for so long!! But I just needed the break apparently!

Thanks for reading!! And thanks for all the comments I got through Facebook and such!!

You all are just amazing!!

Have a wonderful day/night whathever it is where you are!!

Lots and lots of love!!

MIA again..... sorry!

2010-01-20T22:33:00.000-08:00

hey there all you loveable ones!!!

just wanna let you know, that even if i'm not posting at the moment,

i'm reading all your blogs!!

sorry for not commenting lately.... will pick that up again, promise!!

hope you all had a wonderful start into the new year!!

i was sick.... once again!!

and everything is a little out of the ordinary lately here!!

i'm keeping my head out of the water and try to think positive!

sorry again... for letting you hanging there!!

oh by the way,

dublin was awesome!!

enjoyed the loneliness,

ate too much (but nothing new!)

and felt right at home there!!

will be back soon....

love you all....

sounds tacky but it's so true!

you all give me soooo much with all your blogs

you just have no idea!!

thank you....

and keep on doing great like you all do!!

You All Are The Best

2009-12-24T00:17:00.000-08:00

To all of you beautiful, wonderful and caring readers!!

I wish you the best holidays!!

A very merry christmas with lots of love and warmth!!

And an even better new year!!

You all did so good last year, of course there were hiccups, but you're all here now!!

Keep the strenght, the determination and you all will succeed!!

Once again I want to thank you!!

For all the comments here and on facebook!!

I honestly don't know where and how I would be without all of you!!

I TRULY LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!!

Always remember that everything will be good,

as long as we give our best!!

Lots of love and happiness for all of you!!

ps: my mom is better, i am better, everything will be alright...!

i am going to spend a few days in dublin (27th to 30th) ALONE to sort some things out for myself!

i will be posting more frequent in the new year!! promise!

MIA

2009-12-12T03:30:00.001-08:00

hey you all....

sorry for being MIA right know but

as all of you that are on facebook already know

my mom had a car accident on wednesday! :(

she's okay so far, she broke a vertebra (L2)

but thank got it's nothing too serious!

no surgery needed... just a corsage to keep her spine stable!

that was quite a scare!!

and i actually just don't know how to deal with this!

she is really hurt, hasn't had more than an hour of sleep since the accident

and is troubled with bad nausea, thus can't eat sleep or do anything!!

and i can't help!!

i want to do something so ease her pain so bad!

i'm just so lost...! i'm anxious and just feared for her well being!!

she's all i have! she's not only my mom but my best friend!

and i can't stand seeing her this hurt!!

i know we have to look at the 'bright side'!

it could have been so much worse but...

it is so difficult to be positive

when everything around me is kind of falling apart...

i'm struggling so much...

can't help but either eat crap or not eat at all...

and to tip that all off

i'm badly in love with a 20year older family-man!

we had our office christmas dinner last night and

i just can't deny it anymore!

we are so in love... and just can't help ourselves!!

we know it has no future so we contain ourselves the best we can!

but... it's just so pathetic...

he can make me feel so good and forgett about all my troubles

but of course at the same time there is this voice that tells me

'this is so wrong and you know it!'

because IT IS!!! i'm pathetic, i'm a such a fool!!

sorry for bothering you all with this....

i'll just go know.... but to be honest, i don't know when i'll be back blogging!

i read your blogs regularly but just can't come up with thigs to comment!

so please bear with me!

i love you (and of course your blogs!!) all so much

but i just need to figure this all out!

thank you for all the support, the positive comments and nice words!

i am so thankfull for you all being in my life!

i truly wouldn't be where i am withouth you and

who knows how i'd cope with this situation if i hadn't been

at a good place for quite some time.

so bye for know....

Bar "kind of" Review Post :)

2009-12-06T22:44:00.000-08:00

Hey sweetpies!!!

Thank you sooooooo much for all the comments on my last post!!

I know I always say this, but I'm so grateful!! Can't even describe it!!

I had a really difficult week.

With feelings all over the place!!

My T told me to start a FoodDiary where I have to write down

- my feelings - my bodyfeeling - my thoughts

everytime BEFORE and AFTER a meal!!

Wow.... Would never have thought that this would be sooo hard!!

I'm used to put my feelings aside or just not feel at all!

So as I said, it was really difficult and rather disturbing!

But I did it! And I will continue to do it, because it is so important for me

to (re)connect with my feelings!!

Not just pretend (and hope) that everything is fine!

It obvious isn't!

So bare with me, if in the near future my post are a little whacky!

But I have to say that even though I felt like sh*t sometimes,

I haven't felt this much like ME in a long time!!

No more hiding my feeling

(so much people came to me and asked if everything is ok)

and not being afraid to say "NO I'm not fine"!

Uff.... What a week.

I have a new appointment with my T in about two hours.

Curious what she will say, what this session will reveal!

Alright... On to a happy topic!!

As I posted a few weeks back, I recieved an AWESOME package

from the lovely E and M!

Lots and lots of Bars I (obviously) never had or tried

so I was eager to dive into them!! :D

First up was the JamFrakas Chocolate Chip Cosmocrisp

Holy YUM!!! WOW!!! I was sooooooooo pleasently surprised with this!!

It is so chocolaty and dense and...... I'm speechless!!

I wish I could eat this everyday for breakfast AND lunch AND dinner!! :D

Next a LUNA White Chocolate Macadamia

I did not expect lots of it since I don't really like White Chocolate BUT I liked it!!!

Definitely not my favorite but I love Macadamias and it totally had lots of Macadamias in it!!

My FIRST LARABAR Pistachio

Another WOW!!! I didn't recall liking pistachios THAT MUCH!!!

I was mmhh-ing the whole time eating this!!

(I even saved half of the bar for a little later, to savour every bit!)

I WILL DEFINITELY TRY AND MAKE THEM MYSELF!!

I even bought unsalted peanuts right the next day!! :D

CLIF nectar cacao dark chocolate walnut

Do I really need to say that I love chocolate?! And walnuts!?

So.... Needless to tell you that I enjoyed this one too!!

Every bite...

(I really tend to take very itty little bites when I like something really much!)

...wish it would not have ended...!

Last (until now) but most definitely NOT least

CLIF Spiced Pumpkin Pie

This one was another one I did not know what to expect.

After trying Pumpkin-Oats and not really liking it too much I hesitated a little.

With NO REASON at all!!

It was a little too big for me to eat in one sitting (befor a workout) so I split it!

And I'm glad I did... Because even though I TRULY like it! The flavours were a little much for me!

So I think by splitting it I had the chance to really enjoy it without getting sick of it!!

Once again THANK YOU TWO SO MUCH for all the bars!!

I have plenty Bars left to try (and can't wait!)

but I try to only have one a day and only as a pre-workout!

This way they may last a little longer...! ;D

I hope you all had a great week (already read all about it on your incredible blogs)

and a wonderful weekend (will read about this in a bit)

and wish you a fabulous new week!!

Make every day a good one

and

do everything the best you can!!

EDIT:

Go over to Iowa Girl Eats and take a look at THIS awesome Giveaway!!

Much LOVE

France Recap Part Three

2009-12-01T22:55:00.000-08:00

Hey all of you beautiful, caring and just awesome readers!!!

First I NEED and want to say thank you to all the commenters!!

Trust me, if I say that you keep me sane on most days, that's no exaggeration!!

To be quite honest, I'm feeling really down lately....!

Don't know exactely why... Just blah! Of course I have some ideas what could cause this but... I don't want to get into it! I need to just concentrate on the future, on positive stuff, on people who care and it will all be ok!

Although I think this might be a big part of it.

Me always kind of pretending that I'm OK, that everything is fine and nothing is bothering me!

My T kindly referred to me as some kind of 'Dr. Jackel and Ms. Hide'... Not so wrong if you ask me!

But... As I said, don't want to get into it here!

You all have enough to deal with and I am so proud of all of you about how you do it!!

On to the good stuff!! :D

But as the title says here I have FINALLY the last but definitely no least part of my recap!

The house and everything around it!!

Even though I'm not a big fan of France - the people, the language, I fell totally in love with the house and especially the silence of the place.

I would love to spend time with each and every one of you there!!! You all are very welcome ther, in case you're in 'the neighborhood' sometime! Just so you know!

I'm not going to write much... Just let the pics speak for themselves!

this is the same one as above... just one day later!

Again.... Thank you VERY VERY MUCH for each word you write to me!!

It remindes me to stay strong and just go on!!

And (even if they'll never read this) I want to thank my two amazing bosses

who would just do almost anything for me

(and of course I have always the feeling to not be as grateful as I should be!)

and two 'kind-of' co-workers (or I'd like to say they're FRIENDS!)

BEAT (my 'secret love'...) and ELLI

they just keep me sane around here...

Always try to lift my spirits when they feel like something's wrong,

without forcing me to speak about it!

Have a wonderful day everyone and as I always say

and will try myself today

MAKE IT A GOOD ONE!!

Holiday Recap Part Two

2009-11-26T23:20:00.000-08:00

Here we go... Sorry for the delay!!

I just have a lot of work and since I do all the blogging from work... You get it!

I decided to post all the food pics first and then the house and all the fall impressions!

Hope you enjoy it.... ;) I clearly did!!

I told my mother recently that I food-blog!

And she was way cute and even reminded me a few time to take pictures!!

She's just awesome!!

The pics are chronological from Saturday to Saturday! ;)

saturday after arriving I heated some leftovers I brough with me

[cheese, wine, bread and butter for my mom! ;)]

brussel sprouts and some pumpkin/squash dish along with an easy over egg

my breakfasts were always (almost) the same
banana-goji-oatmeal with apples (or pear or quince) some almond slivers (or pine nuts) and cranberries

delicious until the very last bite!!

my mom had some of my oatmeal everyday

alongside with one or two slices bread with jam or cheese

(and coffee for her!)

on sunday we went to a beautiful market

and look what I found!!!

the eggplant and sp are almost the size of my head!! and the mini carrot like my smalest finger!! :D

from here on I don't clearly remember when we had what but of course I remember what we had!! ;)

a deliciouse Whiting fish filet fresh from the market on sunday

with a carrot-leek-cream side and quinoa

here we have my moms favorite lentil dish

lentils cooked with carrots and some other vegetable I don't know how it is called in english

along with lots of quinoa and a sidesalad (greens with tomatoes and an easy balsamic sauce)

this is only HALF of the tatter!!! about 12oz!

I had them as fries with eggplant chips but have to say I didn't like them at all!!

but I think it was more the eggplant itself as it was quite bitterly

another pic of my daily breakfast

this time in the beautiful morning sunlight

chicken breast with a side of quinoa (the last time I think!)

garlic-zucchini (awesome by the way!!) and boiled tomato

since I didn't mind for the eggplant chips last time

I just cooked the other half with some zucchinis

to have with my deliciouse sp fries! and tons of ketchup of course!

[had to buy it first so hadn't had any the first time!! :(( ]

last but definitely not least

a super delicious small pork chop

with steamed carrots and leek and

my favorite way to eat potatoes

pan roasted - holy YUM!!

That's what we eat during the last week!

There wasn't a lot of snacking in between but sadly I had a little set back with the mini-binges

in the evening.... Only the last few days but I was really annoyed by myself!!

I was doing soooo good!!

So it took my by surprise to see that when I stepped on the scale on this Tuesday

I actually lost a little!! WOW! Came unexpected but I was clearly pleased!

Don't wanna get into that.... But I have to say I'm doing quite good at the moment!

Thank you for the nice comments

and for all the nice words on Facebook too!!

I'm really THANKFUL for all you guys!!

(Had to say something even though we don't have Thanksgiving here and I'm a little late!!)

As always.... Have a wonderful day and just make the best out of all the minutes and situations!!

Big Hug

'Working' in France

2009-11-24T22:17:00.000-08:00

Here I am with my first (of two?!) part of the 'Holiday-Series' :D

I don't know if I mentioned that we not only have a house in France (two hours south of Paris)

but it stands on a huuuuuuge property (don't know if there is another word for it!)

so there is always lots to do!

First there are all the fruit (and nut) trees!

A few month ago my mom went there with a few friends to pick

the best Boscop Apples and awesome Pears.

But right now it's Quince-Time!

And we have a beautiful Quince-Tree

What you can see here is only what's left on the tree but the ground was covered with good and not so good fallen Quinces. So we sorted through them, cleaned the ground unterneath and picked or shook down the Quinces from the tree! It was really fun! I even had to climb up once to pick some that where hard to reach.

Look at one of our baskets full of beautiful Quince

with their funny furry skin! :D

And what else did we do than cook them (only a small part of our harvest)

jam, marmalade, compote

this actually is all we did (there are some apple and pear compotes too)

and we could have done much more! this is only one and a half day of work!!

And THIS is what we took home!!!! The whole car smelled like one huuuuuge Quince!

I love the smell but after driving seven hours it gets kind of annoying!!

But of course we survived!! :D

Next up: Leaves.

I had a lot of fun doing some yard work

[and had to think of Ang and Kath while doing it! ;) ]

Lots and lots of loose leaves to take care of!

Smile for the camera!! :)

And this is how it looked hours later.

The next day I only needed to pick them all up and bring them all the way to the back of the next pic where we have our compost (sp?).

As I said it was lots of work, but I enjoyed every second!

I think it's so much nicer to do things when you don't 'have to'!

I could start and stop whenever I wanted and how long I fancied!

Stay tuned for the next installment! :D

Don't know if it will be FOOD or FALL Impressions!

We will see..... :D

Have a wonderful day everyone!

Lots of LOVE!!

What an Welcome-Home Gift!!

2009-11-23T05:55:00.000-08:00

Well hello everyone!!!

I'm back, as you can see!! ;)

Don't have much time to post unfortunately but I'm really excited that we have so much work here! We're getting out of our funk as it seems!! And soon we well be flooded with work and that's a good thing, after having almost nothing to do the past few month!! So yay for working long days!! I just love this office and enjoy every minute spend here!! ;D

But unfortunately this means fewer time to read all your lovely blogs (and I accumulated a lot of blogs over the past few month!!) and not as much to post about! But I'll manage!!

First things first.... As you can guess from the title I was greated with an awesome package yesterday as I returned and took a look into my mailbox!!

lots and lots of deliciouse bars - can't wait to try each and every one!!

chia seeds!!! YAYYY!!! and a Justin's Squezze pack

and of course the cutest card imaginable - a few tears were rolling down my cheek

but of course with the biggest smile on my face!

The most lovely, big-hearted and beautiful twins I know had send me some awesome stuff!!!

I really could not think about a better Welcome-Home gift!!!

Thank you soooooooooo much Eliza and Maya!!

I even tried the Luna WCM right away and have to say, even though I'm not a fan of white chocolate, I enjoyed every bite of the half I tried!! Can't wait to have the other half!!

I really have no words on how grateful I am to be recieving such lovely things!!

And I really hope that you will finally get my package soon!!! It's already three weeks!! That's just unacceptable!!

I have a JamFrakas Chocolate Chip Cosmocrips laying in front of me and I'll eat it as my pre-workout snack!

About my holidays - they where perfect!! Eating could have been better but who cares right?!

I'll do a few posts over the course of this week about last week - hope you'll enjoy them!!

Have a wonderful day everyone!

And again - THANK YOU so much my loves!!

Big hug -

Weekly Update and Holidays

2009-11-12T22:15:00.000-08:00

Hey my lovely pumpkins!!

Sooooo sorry for being MIA lately!! I'm a really bad blogger lately!

But as I mentioned in my last post, I really do eat almost the same everyday and

nothing interesting is happening around here, so.... Little reason to post...

And since I'm a little lost for words lately - doesn't help much!

I just wanted to let you all know that I'm (semi) OK and even though I'm eating too little

(and the damn scale is not bulging!! How can this be?!!!)

I eat enough for the moment! Even my T said so!

So everything is fine!

Ballet and Jazz is going great!! I feel like I am making so much progress!

Giving up a little controll to maintain the "lightness" of ballet and to let my moves be smoother in Jazz!

I just loooooooooove my teacher so much!! Can't even put this into words!

I'm so happy to have found her! I'm certain that I would not be dancing if it weren't for her!

Hope all of you had a good week?!

♥ ♥ I know E and M are doing much better!! And I'm so proud of them!

♥ Karina is putting a smile on my face with each post

♥ and Rebecca (found her blog recently) is inspiring me so much to question and reevaluate!

Thank you soo much for all your posts!! For sharing your story!! It really makes me stronger

and feeling less alone in all of this!!

I don't know if I mentioned this in an earlier post

but I'm away the next week!

We are going to spend a week in our house in France! YAY!!

We have to pick our Quinces before they go mad!

I love to spend time there! It is so quiet and calm!

And I have a huge room for myself to practice ballet and jazz!! YAY!!

I'm going with my mom and a friend of hers! It will be fun!

So no updates [as if that is new ;) ] until next monday!

Have a wonderful week and I look forward in reading all your lovely posts when I return!

I have to say that is the only thing I'm not so happy about...

Not being able to read all your posts for so long!! But I'll manage!! :P

Here are a few recent eats, so that this isn't a text-only post and to give you a little color!! :D

Jenn inspired me (with her latest post) to this lovely dinner on Tuesday!!

pre-workout snack (wednesday if I remember correctly)

pm-snack/pre-workout - half at work

the other half on my walk to practice

And a little more fall colors ;)

even though it was wet

it looked really beautiful - no sound when walking trough the leaves though :(

EDIT: After posting this, I read the ever amazing Karina's new post and discovered that I was taged to contribute to Maggie's Truth Week, which I find is an awesome thing!!

So about my bit of Truth (where should I start?!):

I grew up learning to put everyone else before me!

My dad committed suicide when I was merely at the age of 7,

thus I always thought that I needed to help my mom and not burden her with anything else

and this started a cycle I have jet to come out of!

I don't blame her entirely for this even though she might have given me the urge to do this undeliberately.

[I have no idea if this mad sense at all, sorry for that!]

I am learning to put myself first but it's not an easy task.

I'm tagging E and M today [I don't remember if they posted one already and sorry if so. But as far as I know every day there is a new reason to post one ;)]

And to end this the right way, please take a look at the OCCK-post! Thank you for reading! ;)

All my love to all of you!!! :*

All kind of eats and a Birthday...

2009-11-09T02:58:00.000-08:00

Long time no read.... I apologize!!

It was an eventless week - hence the lack of posting!!

But I'm going to start with Sunday - My Birthday YAY!

It was good... Good enough! For me anyways as I don't like to much going on around me!!

I had a leisure morning with an amazing breakfast:

can you guess how old I'm now?! ;) [I hope KERF isn't too jealous ;)]

Had a date with my mom :D She invited me to see a ballet choreographed from our talented Spörrli - Raymonda

After we went home (to my mom's) and she cooked for me!

Of course I had to make my own "cake"! And I have to say they were awesome!!

I have to link to the recipes!! Sooooo good and healthy and low calorie!!! Awesome!!

the big ones are banana-coconut and the little ones chocolate-orange

I did only half of each recipe and changed the cake into mini-cupcakes and the bars into muffins.

they were divine!!

On thursday I enjoyed an amazing fall-walk home with all its beauty!

I just loooooove the fall colors!!! ♥ ♥ ♥

On to the eats. I had lots of same-old same-old! But it's soo good I'm not getting tired of it!!

Though I'm going to leave the peppers and zucchini behind me, since it's a summer vegetable!

And add a few winter vegetables to my lunches...

Various breakfasts - each day almost the same:

Oh what I forgott to mention, last sunday we sent to a fall market (I think I wrote about it in my last post)

and I found Maca powder!!! Couln't believe my eyes!! And purchased Maca Capsules which I'm taking now each day with my breakfast! Don't feel a difference but if I do, I'll tell you instantly! ;)

Lunch at work is always veggies with (or without) avocado, cottage cheese and seeds.

Snacks before Yoga or Ballet/Jazz:

And dinner usually contained some Soup:

love love love love homemade pumpkin soup!! made a new batch on saturday and can't wait until tonight to have some!!

Saturday:

breakfast was heavenly

lunch was the same as above but in a tupper and eaten at my moms.

had this as dinner after spending hours in the kitchen baking and cooking!!! :D love days like this!

I had another Therapy session today! Went well.... Lots to talk about, lots to learn and relearn!

I'm still very glad I choose this T and I'm looking forward to the hours spend with her! Even though I know there will be tears and lots of struggling! But I know that is was I need and it will be worth it!!

Now.... I want to thank here all the beautiful ladies who congratulated me on facebook!!! Thank you so much!! You really mean the world to me!! And even if I repeat myself a lot, but I know I wouldn't be where I am now withough all of you!! All your blogs and comments inspire and strengthen me so much!!!

I'm endlessly thankful for all of this!!

Have a wonderful day!! And make every minute worth it!!

PS: If there is anything you would like to know about me, just ask away! I'm happy to answer!

Dancing Around and Feeling High....

2009-11-01T22:15:00.000-08:00

Goooooood Morning everyone!!!

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend!?!?!

Mine was filled with sweet nothingness!! ;) I chilled at my moms, had a calm evening and on Sunday we went to a beautifull Fall-Marked and walked around for about four hours (of course there was a lot of standing in between!)! It was a little overwhelming with all the people but it had so much things to look at!

Nonetheless I was happy to be home again and enjoy the evening cooking and watching tv shows!

Here you have all the goodies!! Starting with my re-introduced Soup-Friday - which means only liquids preferable soups on every Friday. YAY!!

Oh and I finally found the ankle boots I was looking for the last few month!! Can't believe I found them!! And found another pair of boots that are very similar to the ones I already have but are on their last legs!!

Successfull Friday I might call this!

breakfast: maple & brown sugar Quaker Oatmeal with Milk and lots of cinnamon

lunch: veggies and potato/leek instant soup

afternoon snack: hot chocolate in my favorite office mug!

dinner: instant dhal soup (normally my Soup-Friday doesn't consist in so much instant soup! sorry!!

Saturday started really early; Woke up at 7am - started doing laundry, had a delicious breakfast (as always on weekends - I totally look forward to this breakfast all week!!) - while waiting on the dryer I went shopping for two packages I sent out afterwards ;) :D - as I told you ladies earlier It may take up to 14 days to arrive, sorry about that!!

Returned home to emty the dryer and fold my laundry, only to head out the door to go get my Snowboard with the new Binding! I'm so psyched and can't wait to go snowboarding soon!! Mountains I'm coming!!

Went to my moms and chilled there withouth our regular Saturday-Walk because my mom didn't feel to well. No problem with me because I planned to practice with my point shoes in the evening so I was glad to give my foots a little rest! I aimed high in the evning - not really! ;) I practiced for about 15 minutes and my feet where dead!!

I'm so excited about dancing on pointe but also a little worried I might not be strong enough now!!

We will see.... I relaxed the rest of the evening and went to bed really early!

breakfast: overnight oats (1/3 oats, 2/3 water soaked over night) with a cooked in banana and lots of cinnamon,

our own apple compote, cran- and goji berries and pine nuts

lunch at moms: salt potatoes and sauerkraut (times two)

with small slices of pork belly and other pork

dinner at home again: some creamed spinache and an onion tartlett

had a few (unpictured) handfulls mixed nuts and

for dessert more of the apple compote with cinnamon and almond butter

Sunday was a late start - slept in until 9am which is really rare for me. Had breakfast and went to my moms so we could get going for the Fall Market in another City. Like I said it was beautiful - had lots of different things and of course lots of Food Stands! I wasn't hungry at all and was a little annoyed with all of them - but the other ones got hungry around 3pm and we went and sat down in a cute little market 'restaurant'! I had a few spoonfull of my moms soup but that was all for me! I was glad to be home again and get going in the kitchen for my pumpkin soup! I was looking forward to this soup all week because the butternut is staring at me since last weekend!! ;D

Not to toot my own horn but this soup was excellent!!! I included some pumpkin I bought last weekend at a Farm stand and the flavor of it was really nutty and just perfect combined with the butternut, onions, garlic and curry! Holy YUM!! I'm sooooo eager to eat this soup for dinner every day this week!! :D :D

a repeat of the breakfast from Saturday (this might easily be repeatet next weekend as well!)

my awesome soup - times two

and in the back the roasted pumpkin/squash I prepared for my lunches for this upcoming week!

for dessert I had a cup apple compote with lots of cinnamon and a tbsp almond butter again (like Saturday night!)

And this is about it! Like I said I hope you had a great weekend and oh I almost forgott:

How was your Halloween?! Tell me all about it!!!

Can't wait to read all your stories!!

Last but definitely not least I wanted to clear something up:

After reading kasondras comment on my last post, I need to add here that I am nowhere near malnourished!

Don't get me wrong, I know I have an ED but I'm not underweight!! In fact I'm at a BMI of 24 right now!! A lot of my weight is muscul but nonetheless I'm clearly a little "too much" at the moment!!

I appreciate every word she wrote and will deffinitely take a lot of it into consideration!

Thanks for all of your thought and comments on my posts!!

I would not be this stong withough all of you!

Have a wonderful week and take one day at a time!

Hug

(Not so) Quick Update ;)

2009-10-30T00:21:00.000-07:00

I just want to let all of you beautifuls know that my appointment went very well!!

I'm so glad I did this!! Couldn't have done it withough all of you and my best friend!!

Thank you so much for supporting me in this and even pushing me to do so!! And of course thanks for sharing your stories!! This made it so much easier, to know I have a bunch of people believing in me - that I'm doing the right thing!!

I totally lucked out with this T! She is truly amazing - we clicked instantly! It was so relieving to talk to someone without being lookt at like a lunatic or like they think "just stop! just like yourself"!! To talk to her and see in her eyes that she knows and understands what I was telling her!! We made a new appointment and I'll start single therapy with her and she strongly suggested a Nutritionis for me, but we will discuss this next time! Until then I have a little questionnaire to fill out and start with a food diary!

I'm not too happy with the diary part, because right know I definitely don't eat enough (sorry for mentioning this and sorry if this is triggering!!) and I'm not sure if I just give it to her like it is, or if I'll tweak it a little! But I don't want to start our "thing" with lies!! The first time I don't have to lie about food, how it makes me feel, my weight and how gaining all this weight back is super upsetting for me!! So we'll see! I still have time to think about it - no appointment until (a day after my birthday!!) the 9th.

Alright! Enough doctor-talk! ;) Onto the good stuff!!

Even though I didn't eat to much the last few days, I definitely had some deliciouse things!!

Tuesday was veeeeeeeeeery bad!!! Had quite the binge!! And I finally swore that this was THE LAST EVER!!!

I just can't do this anymore!!!

But to start at the beginning - day went well, as always. Did not go to Yoga because my mom had other obligations and I planned to go and donate blood for a few weeks and since Tuesday is the only day I can go I thought I took the plunge. Walked there in the beautiful fall weather!!

Everything went fine even though my blood pressure was a little low (99/64) as always!

breakfast: half a cup muesli, an apple, a kiwi and lots of cinnamon and flax

lunch: lots of veggies (orange bell pepper, zucchini, cauliflower, cherry tomatoes)

with 1/3 cup cottage cheese and paprika

dessert a little later: granola bar with orange dark chocolate

pre-donation: a sliced apple, babybel and curry cashews

the beautiful cemetery I walked through!

a little halloween feeling ;)

it was such a nice fall afternoon - the pic doesn't do it justice!

dinner (I was given after donating): ww kind-of-bagle with a little cream cheese and pate, orange juice on the side

didn't eat the toblerone - took it with me though!

proof ;)

thank god everything goes smoothly every time!! I like the thought of helping someone with my blood!! :D

and like I said! everything went downhill - once again but this time was THE LAST TIME!!!

this is about 1/5 of what I ate (not everything sweet and nut just this times five!!)

Wednesday was alright!! Day was kind of slow and I was glad once the clock turned 4.30pm so I could go to the post office to finally receive my English Certificate!! YAY! And then head to my ballet and jazz practice!! Went really well! My teacher checked my point shoes and told me that I could practice in them for a while, but they are a little to soft for me (they are second-hand) and I'll have to buy my own soon - which is totally ok for me!! Can't wait until Monday to start practice at class with them!!

breakfast; 1/3 cup muesli, half an apple, half a kiwi and 1/3 of a small banana

with lots of cinnamon and flax - some magnesium/calcium tablets

small portion of my quinoa and veggies

about 1/3 cup quinoa tops, orange pepper, zucchini, cauliflower and cherry tomatoes

1/3 cup cottage cheese, paprika and topped with a little seed mix

pre-workout/dinner: half of this peanut&oat TREK bar - totally delicious!!!!

and a babybel - had one cup skim milk after dance (unpictured)

Thursday was interesting to say the least! More on the go than in the office. :)

My T-app. at 8am - back in the office at 9.30am, worked straight though until 3pm when I had to leave to drive 1,5h to pick up my nieces (they had some kind of pre-evaluation for their jobs), drive back and drop them at the barne they work! Not to much traffic thank god but still very busy and tiring! Finally home at 9pm!

breakfast (part1) at 8am before my appointment

awesome stats!! It was interesting!

Since I'm still not used to the ginger taste in something sweet, the first bite was kind of not so good,

but the longer I chewed and ate - the better it got! :D

breakfast (part2) at 11am was the same as on wednesday

here pre mixing

here post-mixing so you can see what I had in there! ;)

late lunch at 2.30pm was a delicious quick soup (veggy and potato/leek)

on top of my work ;)

I drove into the sunset!! beautiful colors!!

on the road I hade some (unpictured) crackers and the other half of the TRAK peanut&oat bar

So yeah!! This is it!! My Not-So-Quick update!! Hadn't planned to write so much (like usual) so I just changed my title a little!! ;)

Hope all of you had a (better) good time and why don't you tell me about your favorite day so far this week?! When and why?! ;)

Have a wonderful day everyone!!

Hug

Bottomless Pit

2009-10-27T01:17:00.000-07:00

Wonderful morning to everyone!

My morning begun with a wonderful blue sky and (a little later) was greeted with sunshine!!

I love mornings like this! And in the fall it's kind of macigal!! ;)

But I need to write about yesterday not today!!

I like Mondays - unlike the majority of humans!

It might have to do with someone named B (who works in my office) and with my ballet-class in the evening to which I look forward all day (do I need to lookout for more B-words?! :D )!! And this Monday was not different!!

Flirted a little in the early morning - and since we aren't supposed to do that it's a lot more exciting!! :D

And enjoyed a nice breakfast around 8.30am (I usually make my b-fast around 7am and wait until 8-8.30am because otherwise I'm hungry again a little too early and this way my muesli has time to soak!)

about half a cup ww muesli soaked in water - half an apple, a kiwi, about a tbsp pb chocolate dreams topped with flax

(I had to take a pic before mixing it up - this way it looks soo much nicer!!)

The morning went by fast even though I don't have much to do at the moment! But I had enough time to catch up with all your lovely blogs (since I hadn't had time on sunday) and enjoyed all of your posts!! That is another reason why I looove Mondays!! ;D

lunch: approx. 1/4 cup quinoa, yellow pepper, zucchini, cauliflower

added cherry tomatoes after I took the pic and mixted in cottage cheese and topped it as usual with a seeds and nuts-mix

kind of dessert an hour after lunch - granola bar

An uneventful afternoon later I approached 4pm and had my early kind of dinner befor my ballet class at 5.20pm:

two ww cracker with a tartar (something like philadelphia) and chicken

on the side a babybell and for dessert a dark chocolate covered granola bar - which is awesome by the way!! sadly it has too much bad ingedients!

After an exhausting but awesome ballet class I came home craving someting salty:

I just prepared myself a little quick (instant) soup and had milk on the side

I had another mug later with chocolate

After my ballet class earlier I asked my teacher what she thought about me starting to dance "en pointe" and as awesome as she is, she just gave me some pointe shoes to try on and told me that she is absolutely sure that I would do great and that my feet would be strong enough and to say it (kind of) in her words "it would be fun!"

YAAAAAAYYYY!!!!

You can't imagine how excited I was!!!! So after I showered I just had to try them on!!

And surprisingly they fit perfectly!!! She forgot to give me the pattings for them but since I plan on buying a pair of my own for my birthday (coming up soon on the 11/08) I did not care!

sorry for the overload on pics, but I just couldn't get enough!! ;D

I probably didn't do it right, but I just wanted to know how it feels like to stand 'en pointe' (of corse I hold on to my barre)

and it was unbelievable!! I can't wait to start practice in them!!

I have no idea why but I was craving sweet and salty really bad so I had a (not so little) snack

count this times two or even three!!

sporting the point-shoes!! yay!!!

Of course I had to think about Jee from to dance among the stars... the whole time!!! :D

I will stop now, I'm a little dissapointet at how much I ate after "dinner" but that was yesterday and know I try to do better today!!

Hope all of you had a wonderful Monday - or even an OK one!! ;)

Wish you a joyful and sunny Tuesday!!!

Lots of hugs and positiv energy to all of you!!

Nice Weekend - Kind Of

2009-10-25T23:48:00.000-07:00

Here we are again....! :)

I hope all of you had a good weekend!!! Mine was nice - a lot of mother-daughter time, but also a little emotionally draining. No big deal! I have to keep in mind that having ONE bad day is already sooooo much better than a few weeks ago when I had a whole bunch of bad days!! So YAY!!

I forgott to mention that I went to a snowboard store on friday where all the last season stuff was on sale and finally got myself a new binding for my snowboard!! I'm so happy!! I purchased a pair of new boots last winter but since I only started snowboarding again after about five years, I just didn't want to spend too much money in case I would not enjoy it! But I did, a lot and I'm eager to spend a lot of time on the board this winter!!!

I also got myself a pair of gloves and a new pair of jeans!! All about 40-60% off!!! What a catch!

On to saturday, which started pretty late for me - what a nice surprise!! I slept until 8.30pm and headed direclty to my laundry room to do my laundry. After I put my two loads into the dryer I went to the store to buy a few additionals for my breakfast - around 10pm. So this was a fairly late breakfast!!

I tried pumpkin oats for the first time! And to be honest, it didn't do anything for me!!

Sorry.... For all of you who love it, but.... I don't know! I just wasn't satisfied with the taste! :(

So I topped it with a bunch of things :)

almond and pumkinseed butter, pinenuts, cranberries, goji berries and banana

it was ok.

After finishing laundry my mom picked me up and we went to water a friends plants and do some grocery shopping for our lunch/dinner. Once we came home (my mom's) we had a little snack (an unpictured huge seedy cracker) and we went for a long walk and had a really good talk!! :)
Back home we started to prepare for dinner, which I was excited for!! My mom invited Udo (a lodger who lives in my old room ;D ) to join us for dinner - he's a hottie!! :D So I snapped a pic before he came up (and told my mom about me blogging, which was fun).

Whole wheat pasta, veggies (red and yellow peppers, broccoli, onion and champignons)

and a nice pork chop (have about 1/3 to Udo!)

Of course I had seconds (except the meat)!

Look at this funny little kind of fruits this plant makes!! Little hearts!! So cute!!

The day went by fast and soon enough I was back home, huddled up on my couch, watching tv shows! And having an (unpictured) evening snack.

Sunday I woke up normal arounb 7.30pm and went from bed straigt to my couch! After making tea and drinking a cup, I decided on a run before the weather turns and had a few bites from this awesome bar I brought from London!

My run (the first one since London) was a good one!! My legs where a little tired but they just need to adjust to running first, since I only started a few weeks ago! I was pretty happy and at some point I even managed to run 0.6 miles in one go!! YAY!! (I know for some of you this is like nothing, but I couldn't manage to run for more than a few minutes so far withough breathing like a horse!!)

Once home I was ready for breakfast!!

my weekend-standart banana overnight oats with apple compote

topped with pine nuts, cranberries, goji berries, peanut and pumkinseed butter and banana

since I was still hungry after my bowl, I decided to add a few ricecakes (five in total) with some London-bought Lemon Curd, Almond Butter, a few slices chicken and a babybel

At 12.30pm my mom picked me up and we went to my sisters, where we spend the day catching up, playing with my four and a half year old nephew, taking a (slooooow) walk and eating dinner!

(this is not my pic!!! stole it from google!)

I had two small bowls tomato risotto with salad on the side

and some (unpictured) biscuits that where layind around and screaming my name!

Coming home around 7pm I was hungry again (what's wrong?!), so I had a few more ricecakes like breakfast #2 and after that I indulged in some late night snacks!! Was soooo stuffed and once again, knew why I hated eating this late and this much!!! HAVE TO STOP DOING THIS!!!! Went to sleep and trying to forget about it!!

And here we are... New week, new luck!!! I'm looking forward to my ballet class this evening and hope this week will be as good as last one was, or even better!! Even though it will be a little on the stressed side, but you well hear about this when it happens!! ;)

Have a wonderful Monday everyone!!!

And thank you sooooo much for sharing and commentin on my last post!!!

Love each and everyone of you for it!!!!

Hugs and kisses

Boring Friday

2009-10-24T01:52:00.000-07:00

Hello weekend!!

I have to say that I'm really content with this week!! Even with my London-Trip now I had time to think about it a little!! I let myself eat whatever I wanted and for that I did really well!! Acutally can't even believe how good I did!

I believe this is progress, isn't it?! I hope I can continue like this, to be happy with what I do and not be feed up by little slip ups!!

Hope you all had a good week to..?!

Lately I've been thinking about what I want to do with this blog... I started it just to keep track on everything and to open my eyes about my eating habbits!! And I definitely want to continue with this... And since I'm a lot more comfortable with writing in englisch, I might even start to elaborate a few topics that might be a little more interesting for you all!!

I'm going to think about all of this and let you know!! ;)

Right know I'm a little anxious about this upcoming Thursday - my ED appointment! I just have no idea what to tell her!! Where to start and.... Of course now I doubt if this was a good idea!! I know it is - but as I wrote earlier I still have that damn loud voice in me that tells me, that I'm not "sick enough" not even sick at all to be honest!

But I need to just let that go!! See what happens on Thursday and than go from there....!

Maybe some of you would like to share your first experience...?! This may help me a little!!

Know to the good stuff.... :D My eats as of yesterday:

breakfast again an ugly mess :D but soooo good!!! this time with apple instead of pear - so much better!!

I'm happy that I start loving apples agian, because after eating mostly apples for a long time,

I just had enough of them! but I'm happy they are back in my life!!

lunch: quinoa, zucchini, yellow pepper, cauliflower, grape tomatoes, a few bacon cubes

topped with cottage cheese, 1/4 avocado and a little of the seeds and nuts-mix

also had a few chocolate thins for dessert (like the day before)

around 2pm I broke into my snack

half of my first cocoa loco nakd bar - not a big fan!

since I'm a huge chocolate fan, this was just not chocolaty (sp?) enough for me!

but it had a nice apple juice taste!

at 3.30pm I finished off my nakd bar with a huuuuuuge pear (not too ripe, so much better!)

was invited to stay for dinner at my moms - always good! :)

veggie-soup with a splash of milk (this times two)

on the side a slice ww bread with a little butter, mustard and salami

(had another half slice later with only butter and mustard)

aaannnd I even had a little alcohol!! that's really rare for me, since I'm not a big fan!

a small glass white wine with cassis liquor - not bad

once I came home and catched up on my tv shows (I just have too much to watch this fall!!)

I got a little hungry around 9.30pm so I had a little late-night-snack

three dates with ~1tbsp peanut butter, mango-apple sauce with ~1tbsp almond butter

and a small mug skim milk

That's all for friday! I'm looking forward in catching up with all of your blogs and now I'm off to get my laundry out of my dryer and fold it, before my mom comes and picks me up for some nice mother-daughter day! Yay!!

Have a nice weekend you all, enjoy every second and only do what you really want to do!!!

Lots of love

Breakthrough?!

2009-10-23T00:50:00.001-07:00

Well hello there lovelies!!!

Yesterday was kind of a fun day. Don't know why exactely... It just was!!

First I need to tell you that I made kind of a big change in my eating habbits to finally beat my night-binging!! :D

Last week while talking to my friend about this problem, I came up with the idea that it might be best to start not eating too late! And since I have dance practice three out of the five days, I might try to just eat a little more pre-workout and just stick to liquid while home! I usually am not hungry after danceclass at all and just eat because I think "I have to" - but I'm stopping with this right now!! Usually I'm home between 7.30pm and 8.00pm and don't even like eating this late!!

So I tried this now on Wednesday and Thursday and it went really well!

Acutally I'm really happy with this, because I don't even thought about "eating this, eating that"... And to end a day with a nice (hot or) cold milk (rice or cow) with a little cacao or not just is perfect!!

So here we go.... With more "...at work" pictures.... Since I ate all my meals at work or on the way from work to practice!!

breakfast same as yesterday - looks kind of blech but I tell you it was divine!!

this dark chocolate dreams is awesome!!

I only wish I could get this here!!! thank god I bought three jars (of which one is half empty by now)!!

morning snack times two (and a few of my ginger and soy coated p-nuts)

lunch was also the same as yesterday - minus the avocado - added a few curry cashews

dessert three super thin lindt chocolate squares (one 70% dark and two orange chocolate) holy yum!

my dinner: two crackers with 1/4 avocado sprinkled with herbed salt and paprika

one pear with curry cashews

had the eat natural (blueberries pistachios and a yoghurt coating) bar

and the babybel on my way to the bus (I was running out of time!)

the bar was ok - wasn't a big fan of the yoghurt coating

once home I had a mug of skim milk and of course I did go back

and had half a mug with some cacao added

just perfect!!

I know that many of you probably think that this is a bad idea, but I eat enough calories (approx. 1500-1800) and it's only three days a week! So I hope you don't judge me about this because I think this might work wonder for me!! And maybe I'll be able to loose the few pounds that I piled on over the last few month slowly but surely!! I really want to wear my favorite clothes this winter and especally next spring/summer!!

So... Wish me luck!! I definitely feel good and strong!!

Btw dance on Wednesday and Yesterday was awesome!! I can't believe I had a two week break!! I feel every muscul in my body.... But I enjoyed every second!! Can't wait for my ballet-class on Monday!! And especially can't wait until the day I wont be like "I could be so much quicker, better, more flexible if I only finally lost those pounds"!!! I love dancing, and I could swear that the mirrors in the studio make me look smaller than I really am, but I'm glad they do... Otherwise I might not be dancing at this weight!! But this will be my least problem in a few month!! Yay!!

Anyways have a good day and as always.... Make it a marvelous one!!!

Love

...at work!

2009-10-21T22:35:00.000-07:00

Goooooood morning everyone!!! How are you?!

I'm in a very good mood, and have no idea why!! :D

I'm not questioning it, just enjoying....

Not too much to tell, food was awesome yesterday!

Here we go:

breakfast at work: muesli soaked in water, kiwi, plum, half a banana with a tbsp pb&co chocolate dreams and flax

lunch at work: zucchini, cauliflower, red peper, 1/4 avocado with quinoa and cottage cheese, topped with seeds and nuts

dinner at work: two crakers with 1/4 avocado, salt and paprika with curried cashews and babybel

(and later a few from the soy and ginger peanuts, right back there in the far right corner)

pre-workout a marks&spencer snack well soy raisin bar

once home after dance class I enjoyed a cup ricemilk-cacao

I was so glad to have dance class again!! Ballet went well - I'm a little stiff and my muscul right next to my shin is cramping a lot lately :S !! Don't know what to do, it's nothing big but really disturbing while on barre! Jazz was really fun! We were only four of us and enjoyed the space and attention everyone got!

I think I'll leave you with this.... I'm going to savor my good mood and knowing that I'll be busy at work hence the lots of things I have to do - finally!!

As always, keep strong, enjoy every second you get and make your day a good one!!!

I'm off to dig into my breakfast!! yum!

1000 hugs